LVII
Ah, but my Computations, People say,
Reduced the Year to better reckoning?--Nay
'Twas only striking from the Calendar
Unborn To-morrow, and dead Yesterday.

          -- Omar Khayyam, The Rubaiyat

The struggling pangs of conscious truth to hide,

 

 To quench the blushes of ingenuous shame,    

Or heap the shrine of Luxury and Pride       

With incense kindled at the Muse's flame.  

Then the most prevalent speculation in the media was: “where could he be going at 2:30am”? To which, the near-billion dollar valuation of the Woods estate notwithstanding, my retort was: “he was probably trying to be at the head of the line of black weekend (pun not intended) shoppers at the nearby mall.” This is not entirely preposterous considering that Tiger Woods has been rather notable for his go-getter demeanor.

However the proverbially Clintonian “Bimbo Eruptions” promptly kicked in. The saga unfolded far beyond the traditionally tolerable envelope of tabloid titillations to become unquestionably tantamount to moral turpitudes of the grossest order. Traditionally, golf and moral turpitude would not fit harmoniously in the same sentence. But then again, in the age of Obama, adherence to tradition has increasingly and alarmingly become rather taboo. 

If the point needs illustration, until the ascendancy of BHO into the Oval Office, apologizing for America was never a part of Presidential rules of engagement, either domestically or, least of all, abroad. Neither was selective financial “bailout” of the private sector on the premise that some organizations are “too big to fail;” after which some of them did fail anyway (cf, e.g., Chrysler with Fiat as the sequel). It has to be noted parenthetically that the Oslo acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace Prize was the rare and most welcome exception.

This is by no means to claim that Obama invented the “reset button.” On the contrary, as Andrew Fogg, the Golf Hypnotist, has sufficiently documented, it has been a valuable widget in the arsenal of most great champion golfers. In politics, it has been a valuable tool since Adam and Eve were driven out of Paradise. Or in the original formulation of John Milton, the classic “reset button” was sanctioned by the Devil himself:

To Tiger’s laudable credit, he elected to own up to the shenanigans and vowed to make amends when he announced his decision to take “an indefinite break” [from golf] to repair his marriage. We can only wish him well. It is indeed heartening that he seems to have the support and encouragement of his fellow professional golfers. By contrast, the POTUS does not seem to lose any opportunity to disown the pitfalls of his administration and blame his predecessor. The POTUS also enjoys the support of most of his fellow liberal Democrats in Congress and in the beholden corridors of punditland. Is this just a simple case of badge of honor among thieves and thugs in the latter; and of looking after your source of revenue in the former?

On the ledger of accountability, at least EldrickTigerWoods has proved the better man than Barack Hussein Obama. As I have pointed out in an earlier blog post, on the ledger of race and racial identity, Eldrick Tiger was way ahead of Barack Hussein. Maybe there is a lesson to be learned here. The next time we elect a president, we should make certain that the fellow (or lady) is an accomplished golfer. We shall then at least would be more likely to have a president who owns up to the administration’s mistakes and shortcomings rather than commission a search for a scapegoat.

I delved into the subject of accountability earlier elsewhere, albeit perhaps in a slightly different context, but nonetheless relevant:

(XVIII)              [4]

            To put the fault on my ill-attitude

 So-called, yourself you find acquit from blame

            Yet blameless be, what worth a fortitude? --

            Mischief breeds malice, should itself disclaim!

            Were conscience from all blemish fully free

            Its force of judgment should all times prevail,

            And so prevailing, would perforce decree

            Exclude such things bedeemed as boding ill

            From all affairs you deign to undertake;

            So undertaken, merits are your own

            To cherish; else, for ills amends to make.

            Laurels anon, save such as Laurels won:

               Self-absolution but redeem in pain

               The sinner -- not the sinning, nor the sin!

It can hardly be overemphasized, that the opportunity to redeem oneself with another chance is an integral part of the American Dream. As long as we do not forget the transgression, the transgressor can be forgiven. In the specific case of Tiger, I contend that the ultimate judge and jury should be Elin and her children. I would hasten to add that barring being absolved by these judge and jury, Tiger’s place in the hallowed pantheons of golfing history has been irreparably diminished and damaged and his quest to surpass Jack Nicklaus’ records has practically ended with the escalade affair.

Should that eventuality come to pass, his records should be adorned with a multitude of asterisks. And for all Tiger’s greatness in golfing skills and demeanor, he shall have been reduced to a mere footnote to the accomplishments of great and near-greats: people who by a confluence of both designed and fortuitous circumstances have somehow managed to get the better angels of their natures reign supreme over the baser devils of their decadence.

Some Corollary Angles

Mary Grabar, writing in Pajamas Media, had painstakingly deplored the appearance of giving a pass to Tiger’s co-conspirators in sin:

. . . Some black media commentators have criticized Woods for excluding black women.

Woods’ mistresses and flings, ranging from cocktail waitresses to porn stars, are being made into minor celebrities. They share attention with the prostitute, Ashley Dupre, who brought down Governor Eliot Spitzer.

But rarely are these women the objects of opprobrium. When one TV commentator called these women “bimbos,” he was shot down by the host for his lack of respect. . . .

 To this I had replied in the “comment” section (edited accordingly for the sake of clarity):

Forget about the women. As far as we know not one of them took a celibacy vow. Even if they did, they were only “pursuing their happiness” as in the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, prescribed for and enshrined in The Declaration of Independence.

On the other hand, if memory serves from the vows I took, Tiger would have sworn to “forsake all others, etc. etc.” Besides, the cocktail waitress is only responsible for the drinks being served with the most titillating ambiance practicable. The golfer on the other hand, is responsible to the integrity and honesty with which the game of golf is traditionally perceived and appropriately associated.

Tiger’s escapades have just made golf compatible with moral turpitude, an association not traditionally heard or seen in the annals of the exalted game.

This is coming from someone who has won exactly one golf hackers’ tournament and a party to three marital vows (serially of course).

I regret not having pointed out that Ashley Dupre did not bring down Eliot Spitzer. Spitzer was taken down by the cumulative weight and inertia of his hypocrisy so characteristic of the typical liberal Deomcrat: publicly crusading to close down prostitution while cavorting as one of the prostitution industry’s most high profile patron.

It is very easy indeed, to get sidetracked by collateral considerations. That the feminist movement has irreparably damaged the essence of American womanhood, is to my mind beyond any debate. Nevertheless, some people, myself definitely excluded, call that progress. It has, at the same time effectively castrated the American males’ potency respecting societal and social graces. The death of chivalry as ushered in by the feminist movement has robbed American society of the more pleasant graces of social decorum and is a definite disservice to traditional civility.

Indulgence in the most prurient of our reflexes is as old as humankind itself and certainly predated Tiger Woods and his picadillos by ages if not eons. The Garden of Earthly Delights, by Hieronymus Bosch at Madrid’s Museo del Prado is dated approximately circa 1500 A.D. In fact we need not document the Hedonistic rituals of antiquity to come to terms with the reality that we all came into being as results of the prurient indulgence of exactly one generation prior to our own.

When all is said and done, we all fit into the catalogue concocted by the brilliant wit of Omar Khayyam, in the ageless Rubaiyat:

LXVIII
We are no other than a moving row
Of Magic Shadow-shapes that come and go
Round with the Sun-illumined Lantern held
In Midnight by the Master of the Show;

LXIX
But helpless Pieces of the Game He plays
Upon this Chequer-board of Nights and Days;
Hither and thither moves, and checks, and slays,
And one by one back in the Closet lays.